the gold-digger's antithesis: the man with a preference.

I would like to start with my first opinion: I think gold-diggers are demonised way more than they should be. And a lot of people disagree, which is fine. However, I also want to approach any hypocrisy in the audience today by saying that yes you can believe that gold diggers are awful, shallow people who don't care about personality. But if you believe that, then you must also believe in the demonisation of men that exclusively date attractive women. They're opposing sides of the same coin: if you're to judge one side, you have to judge the whole coin.

The term 'gold-digger' was coined in 1911, and the original definition was actually gender-void - it was simply a term for someone 'money-mad'. Around the 30s, it evolved into more specifically women, and transactional relationships. Specifically, exchanging a relationship for money in return. Back then, I can't say this wasn't justifiable considering a woman's status was reflected by her husband as she could obtain none of her own. The ambitious of us knew what they were getting into. And, naturally, this still exists today. There are far more women striving for the gold-digging life than there are men, because the same sentiment of men 'providing for their families' is kept as the primary concern of society, whilst women are still encouraged to fulfil the supporting character role. But, here comes the antithesis.

Yes, many women do seek out relationships exclusively with men who have money. This is because men were forced to provide and prove they have money in exchange for a fulfilling relationship. But don't many men specifically seek out relationships with highly attractive women?

They're quite literally the same.

Whilst men were being forced to work, women were also forced into something: the competition of genetics. Men might've been suffering at the hands of the fifty-hour work week, but they had their choice of women, and they would never choose an unattractive woman if they had the chance for someone better looking. Even at the cost of personality. It's the same brand of shallow: why do you think the common western stereotype of the wife-hating-husband from the 50s was brought about? So many men so often chose to marry women based on their appearance that it was just common for husbands to hate their wives. And it's the same nowadays. We can argue all day about the details of dating app statistics, but I'm going to stop you there because were talking about the women that men marry. It's a very common fact that many men will happily engage in romantic and sexual relations with women they would never agree to call their wives. They have very specific standards for the women they want and the primary is their looks. Men like this are more common that gold-diggers by a long shot, especially because of the whirling soul-sucking pipeline of anti-feminine ideology that we, including men, have forced down our throats from a young age. What, with the 'don't cry like a little girl', 'you run like a girl' everyday - eventually, you grow to hate anything associated with femininity. Including women. Which is also why women all go through the same 'I'm not like other girls' phase. But onwards and upwards - that's for another post. This gist is, you're not going to care about personality if the only thing you learn to value in a woman is what her body can offer. This is a principle pushed towards men more than the value of a man's money could ever be pushed to women.

Gold-diggers aren't amazing, but they're no worse than the next superficial man who cares more about a woman's appearance over the quality of her personality, shrugging it off as preference. Money is also a preference, but I've heard that's too superficial.

The issue isn't with the individuals (though that should probably all do a bit of inner work here), it's with the patriarchal influences that push these as our values. The patriarchy doesn't just negatively affect women - men are victims of it, too. It should be a common goal to dismantle this structure and rebuild ourselves into a society that values the quality of character above the superficial offerings we're at the whims of within the mess we live today. I think I've said my piece.

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